You leave and joy ebbs
fear flows in and I succumb
scared and alone, crying and shamed
feeling damned and discouraged
I'm worried and sick,
terrified of the parasite
fearing the loss of my body and the end of my life
I'm desperate for a confirmation
searching scores of opinions and citations
conflictual information floods my brain
I'm overwhelmed
I feel dizzy and weak, and I need you
right now, more than ever
I check my calendar and count the days
The situation looks bleak
I look out my window
praying to see a red moon
finally I drift into an uneasy sleep
